Another thanks to this month's Swan Song Storyteller, Ashley, who was brave enough to tell us her story and struggles as she comes to term with her own swanitude last week.
Don't forget, if YOU have a story to tell (when you felt like an Ugly Duckling, how you came to embrace your Swanitude, or maybe a story of someone else who could use our encouragement) Please shoot me an email!
Now to the rub.
Below is a video of the world's most adorable 1D fan singing "You Don't Know You're Beautiful" and it's the sweetest video.
This song is one that's fun, pop, dancey, you can totally boogie to it, and the words are simple, so we all know them.
However, there's always been one teensy thing that bothers me about "You Don't Know You're Beautiful."
One thing that a friend of mine, Esca, rolled her eyes and me and said "Kelsey, it's just a song."
I know. I know.
But still. I enjoy the song. I really do! I love to dance to it and sing it. It's just...
This line: "You don't know you're beautiful (whoa oh oh). That's what makes you beautiful."
The girl has no idea how beautiful she is, so that's why she's beautiful.
Question: If she KNEW how beautiful she was, if she'd embraced her swanitude (not in a vain way, but she loved herself enough to say "Yeah, I'm beautiful.") Would the guy in the song still feel the same way about her?
There's a difference between modesty and self-deprecation. Humility and self-consciousness. It's one thing for me to say I appreciate the features of another person "I'd love long legs like that" or "her hair is so shiny. Jealous!"
It's another thing to compare myself to her. To think less of myself because I think she's in some way better than me.
We're different, but we're both beautifully and wonderfully made by the God who loves us. It's crazy to me that women are so often taught that thinking of yourself as beautiful means that you're vain or arrogant.
Like it's not okay to like yourself.
I mean, it's okay to think you're funny, a good cook, or have great style.
But for some reason, it's not okay to think you're beautiful, smart, or confident? Professional?
If a woman has confidence, she's treated like a scary thing. If a man has "too much" confidence, he's treated like he's arrogant.
Much of the time, unless you look like Ken or Barbie, if you like yourself - think you're beautiful or handsome - people act like you're some kind of fool.
What's with that?
Why is it, a guy who happens to be one of the handsomest in my acquaintance, thinks he's not as good looking, tall or talented as his brother?
Why would my coworker fret about being too tall or big for a girl?
Because society wants to knock us down. Corporations want us to think we needthem.
They want us to not know how beautiful we are.
Thank you, 1D, for the super fun hit that is "You Don't Know You're Beautiful," but I'm going to embrace my swanitude.
I'm going to love myself.
I'm going to KNOW I'm beautiful. If that's enough for you not to like me, you can go join the corporations who want me to buy all of their expensive crap to be "good enough" for others.
But no thanks.
We're already good enough. We're great! We're Swans, golldarnit, not Ugly Ducklings.
We don't need the lie that false humility, self-consciousness, and self-deprecation is what makes us beautiful.
We're beautiful because we're unique. We're special in our own ways. We each bring something to the table. Without YOU (yes, you) there would be a hole in our world. It wouldn't be as bright or lovely of a place.
Because you are important.
You are special.
You. Are. Beautiful.
And it's okay to know it.
♪You can know you're beautiful. Whoa, oh oh.♫
Don't forget to check out the adorable video AND the super awesome free e-book attached. (Free Book Friday! YEAH!)
Love Yer Faces,
Kelsey Original Swan